


If The World Was Ending

by softenderys



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Ace!Xiaojun, Angst, Character Death, Hendery is a cat, M/M, Reincarnation, XiaoDeryWeek2020, maybe heavy angst, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25239469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softenderys/pseuds/softenderys
Summary: Guanheng had pitch black hair that fell right on his cheeks, the wind blowing occasionally revealing his beautiful eyes. Dejun couldn't help but notice how they twinkle in mirth whenever he spoke.Like he'd seen a world of utopia by himself.It feels familiar.
Relationships: Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	If The World Was Ending

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to A for helping me to beta this fic, and thanks to Y for helping me to look into the ace representation in this fic. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Have a good XiaoDery Week!

The sky above was tinted in purple and pink when Dejun arrived at the top of the hill. He made it just in time for the break of dawn, plopping down on his favorite spot on a marbled stool at a gazebo and pulling out his notebook. He could spot an elderly couple a few steps lower from where he was sitting, having recognized them almost immediately as soon as their eyes met.

"Good morning!" Dejun shouted back. The couple gave huge grins but instead opted for the other gazebo where their friends were waiting. Dejun preferred it that way. The few times they were up here, he couldn't write a single word as he was too keen on listening to their stories. As a romantic storyteller, Dejun couldn't help but be curious and jealous of their relationships that lasted for over 40 years. Maybe he would have his own partner to cherish for the rest of his life, and the right time will come.

Nevertheless, Dejun loved the hill; it's quiet and serene—peaceful, just like the state of his mind and his stories. He remembered going up here with his grandfather just to see the morning sun. They'd start climbing an hour before dawn, stopping by at a dumpling stall to get some snacks before continuing. The hill was so much bigger when he was younger; now, though, it only took him 25 minutes to climb up, 40 minutes to climb down—because he'd stop at the same dumpling stall to have his breakfast.

It's a routine he'd grown used to every time he's back at his grandparents'. Even if his grandfather was too old to climb with him, Dejun still cherished the memories and sentiment at the top of the hill so he made sure to enjoy it to the fullest.

He was just about to start writing on his notebook when a weight sank on the same stool he was sitting on, followed by a bright voice of "is this seat taken? I'll sit here then!" and a brighter smile Dejun swore he nearly saw white as he whipped his head so fast his neck hurt. 

"Wait, who are you and where did you come from?" Dejun looked around the area—how could he overlook someone else walking up just a few minutes ago? 

Well in his defense he was admiring the sky and reminiscing past memories, but he could've heard footsteps,  _ right? _

"I'm Guanheng! Sorry to scare you like that. I kinda have the tendency to do that."

For some reason Dejun couldn't be mad at the man sitting next to him. He was probably around the same age, but taller by a few inches. He had pitch black hair that fell right on his cheeks, the wind blowing occasionally revealing his beautiful eyes. Dejun couldn't help but notice how they twinkle in mirth whenever he spoke.

Like he'd seen a world of utopia by himself.

It feels familiar. 

_ What kind of romantic stories would he have— _

Guanheng's next question, however, brought Dejun back to reality. "It's a bit rude to stare without telling me your name though, don't you think?"

Dejun felt himself blush. "I'm Dejun. I always come up here but I've never seen you around. That's why I asked." He could make out the designer brands logo on his shirt, something Dejun definitely heard of but would never have the privilege of purchasing. The man didn't seem to be from here too judging by his accent.

And Dejun was right. 

Guanheng laughed. "Nah, I'm from Macau. I came to visit my uncle who lives just down the area. Oh! You could see his place from here, look!" Dejun followed his finger that was pointing at a neighbourhood within walking distance from the hill. He remembered how he would pass by the area every time he walked home with his grandfather. 

A warm feeling bloomed in his chest. 

"Where do you live?" Guanheng turned to him, eyes curious like a cat.

Dejun never paid enough attention to pinpoint the location of his grandparents' house from the hill, and neither did his grandfather care enough to tell him. It never bothered him before, but for some reason he was trying his best to find the place now just to impress the barely stranger sitting next to him.

_ The beautiful, handsome, barely stranger… _

"It's here." Dejun finally managed to point out. It was a bit further than the place Guanheng pointed, but he was certain of it because he recognised the slight discoloration on the roofs around the neighbourhood. It's an old area anyway; his grandparents lived there their whole life. "I'm staying with my grandfather for my semester break."

"Oh, so you don't live here? But you said you'd always come up here…" 

Dejun chuckled. "I used to live with them as a kid. You could say I'm closer to them than I am with my parents." Not that Dejun had particularly bad experiences with them, but he preferred the peaceful setting his hometown could offer.  _ Why was he telling a stranger about this anyway? _ "I know this place quite well. Literally spent my childhood playing around here."

"Sweet!" Guanheng exclaimed. "You could show me around town, then? I'll be stuck here for quite some time too, so please?" 

Dejun shook his head. Guanheng was pouting but he wasn't about to let his cuteness fool him. "I can't. I have work to do—" 

Nothing cut him off, really. But Dejun was surprised by how good Guanheng looked with the sunlight illuminating one part of his face, casting shadows on his high cheekbones making him look like an angel. The sight was dreamy and Dejun couldn't take his eyes off him, even when Guanheng turned to look at the sun rising from the east and the sun started to shine bright on his beautiful face. 

Dejun never missed the opportunity to watch the sunrise, but today was a first and he'd rather stare at the gorgeous side profile of this mysterious, barely stranger he just met.

He didn't even notice he wasn't blinking until he felt a stray tear brimming in his eyes and he had to blink and wipe it away. Guanheng was chuckling in front of him; Dejun probably looked silly and bashful as he tried to save himself some dignity but Guanheng said nothing more.

And god, was his laugh so addicting and charming to his ears.

"Well? Do you wanna go down?" He asked instead and for some reason it made Dejun's heart race.

"Yeah, sure." Dejun curtly nod, face red and hot. 

"I went through the steps over there." Guanheng pointed towards the bushes as he got up. "I can take you down! It's non-conventional and there are less people using the route. I like it that way."

Dejun had never used the route before but he figured why not. It's broad daylight and if something happened to him, someone would see them. 

He followed Guanheng along, closing his empty page of notebook and reminding himself to later check why his heart beat a little too fast whenever this barely stranger laughed. He skipped breakfast at the usual dumpling stall that day and instead followed Guanheng to a cafe he’d been frequenting near the foothill.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dejun met Guanheng on more than one occasion after the incident, taking him around town and showing him interesting places to visit. They end up spending so much time at the aquarium the other day even though there’s nothing to see, but Guanheng seemed adorably fascinated at the sharks and stingrays. 

Yes, adorable, because that’s the first word that came into Dejun’s mind and he had no control of his subconscious—it wasn’t as though he was denying it. He just found it hard to believe that a city boy like Guanheng could be so cute upon knowing how stingrays’ faces looked like.

Dejun did say he had work to do though, so they couldn’t hang out during weekdays and truth be told, he kinda missed being surrounded by the city boy’s positive energy. He had plenty of friends in the area, but Guanheng somehow emanated a different energy which livened up the atmosphere around them.

Maybe Dejun was being himself, and he couldn’t help but feel curious to know more stories from Guanheng...particularly of romanticity and peace where his interests in writing truly lies.

But that would have to wait when he’s currently sitting in a pile of books at a public library, rearranging genres after genres instead of quietly reading somewhere. Dejun both loved and hated this job; loved because he could be surrounded by his one true love—books, and hated because he couldn’t just immerse himself in the stories during working hours. Well the pay was still decent, he could hold up for a few hours.

A voice from behind snapped him out of his trance. “Dejun, you seem distant since morning. Have you eaten?”

“Oh, it’s you, Kun-ge.” Dejun sighed in relief and nodded softly. “Yeah, I had breakfast before coming here. Why? Is something wrong?”

“Oh no, nothing is wrong. I cooked some leftovers for Lin this morning before she went to school. Do you want some?”

Dejun looked at the lunch box Kun handed to him. It’s not the first time Kun gave him food and they’re always so delicious, but Dejun promised to go out for lunch with Yangyang today so he had to decline. Kun seemed slightly dejected, but Dejun tried to give a small smile. “I’ll taste your cooking some other time, Kun-ge! It’s really delicious, I’m sure Lin liked it.”

Kun gave a gentle smile. “Yeah. Well, get back to work then. You can leave early today, though. There’s nothing much left to do.”

Dejun couldn't help but feel a small guilt bloom in his chest when he saw Kun walking away. Kun's romantic story didn't consist of a utopia—having lost his wife five years ago in a car crash. Lin is their daughter who was only 2 at the time, and Kun had to singlehandedly raise her by himself. Dejun knew him from his school years when he used to frequent the library for research materials, and Kun was so in love with his girlfriend-turned-wife he could still remember the smile on the man's face when he talked about her. Nobody saw Death coming, but it was inevitable and Kun had learned to accept the harsh truth after all these years.

Dejun genuinely hoped that he could bring a small happiness to him, but he already knew that Lin was the utopia Kun needed for now. He loved his daughter dearly and would do anything to be with her. It's always a comforting sight to see him hugging Lin whenever she'd come by to the library after school. Dejun liked her too. 

It wasn't long until lunch came around and Yangyang was waiting for him outside the library. He's one of the childhood friends Dejun still contacted simply because he lived just two blocks away from his grandparents' place. Yangyang is bright and energetic—his presence like the sun, radiating and full of warmth.

They also went to school together, had plenty of sleepovers and shared their first kiss. Yes, together, because Dejun lost a stupid bet and he had to kiss his best friend. They were cool with it. But he didn't like Yangyang that way, neither did the latter. Yangyang was dating someone at the time and Dejun wasn't even his first kiss.

Meeting Yangyang again was like a fresh breath of air, almost like an escapade that Dejun desperately needed to get out of the hustle and bustle of university life back in the city. They'd talk endlessly about all sorts of things and he never had to be afraid of running out of things to say because Yangyang would come up with a new topic every time. It's both peaceful and energetic, just the kind of atmosphere Dejun loved.

"So?" Dejun looked up to his friend who was sitting across him at the table. Yangyang shrugged as he picked up his chopsticks. "You said you had to take someone around town for the weekend—that's why you couldn't see me. Who was this dude that's more important than me?"

_ Oh. _

Dejun paused. "It's just a stranger."

Yangyang raised an eyebrow. "You're lying."

"I'm not."

"Xiao Dejun, I've known you since kindergarten. You can't keep a secret from me."

Dejun huffed. "But it's not a secret? We met at the hill and he's not from here so I showed him around."

"Oh, a city boy?" Yangyang's eyes lit up. "He must be so special then if you're willing to ditch your best friend just to take him around town."

"Like I said." Dejun pointed his chopsticks to him in a feeble attempt at warning, but Yangyang was still giggling. "He's a _ stranger _ ."

"Who's a 'stranger'?"

This was the second time Dejun almost broke his neck when trying to find the familiar voice, only to find Guanheng towering over their tables with a tray of food in his hands. Of course he had the same, stupid bright smile that made Dejun's heart skipped a beat, but he was more shocked then stoked by his good looks. 

"What are you doing here?" Dejun squeaked when Guanheng nonchalantly took a seat at their table, after asking Yangyang a silent 'is this seat taken? no? okay'. Dejun felt a wave of Deja Vu washing over himself. 

Yangyang looked at his friend bemusedly. Guanheng raised an eyebrow. "Why? I can't be here?"

"No, I didn't say you can't—" 

"Dejun, this is a small town. You'd expect to meet anyone you know every once in a while." Yangyang snickered to a surprised Dejun before turning to face Guanheng and introduced himself. "We're friends from kindergarten and I live just down the area."

"Oh, Dejun told me about you! I've heard enough to know that you guys are together—"

Dejun scrambled to look at him. "No, we're not together!" Guanheng raised an eyebrow. "We're just friends." 

"What? So I misinterpret it?" 

Yangyang laughed and shrugged. "I don't know what he told you but I already have a boyfriend, so." Guanheng looked surprised when he stared at a quiet Dejun. "Besides, he spent time with you for the whole weekend instead of me, his childhood best friend."

When Yangyang winked, Guanheng felt his cheeks heat up. Dejun kicked him in the shin from underneath the table. He gritted his teeth."I was showing him around town." Yangyang had an unreadable expression—always when he's annoyed by Dejun—but Guanheng seemed to pay no mind at their banter. Instead of eating, though, he was still staring at Dejun with his annoyingly sparkly eyes (like Dejun had the entire universe laid out on his being, how romantic).

Dejun couldn't deny that it made butterflies swarm in his stomach. It's annoying per se, because he had never felt that way, never even had a crush on anyone throughout his sad 20 years of life. Despite that, he was still eager to know about someone's utopia, someone's romanticity. 

It made him feel included, even if he'd never experienced it.

"I'm honored." 

Dejun lifted an eyebrow at Guanheng when they left the restaurant. Yangyang went separate ways to meet his boyfriend at a nearby arcade, leaving Guanheng to accompany him as they walked back to the library. Dejun frowned at his words.

But Guanheng was laughing. "That you'd show a stranger around instead of hanging out with your friend! I didn't know you had plans."

He didn't, but Dejun still felt bad when Yangyang brought it up even if he knew that the latter was just joking.

"We didn't plan anything on that day, though. Yangyang was just messing around." He suddenly felt nervous. "I was happy to show you around."

_ Besides, we've met enough times to get over the 'stranger' stage… _

Although Dejun badly wanted to ask about Guanheng's romantic utopia, he decided that it was too soon. It felt wrong to pry into his private matters now (not that it was a problem to Dejun—he never cared before, but it was better if the person would open up to him instead). 

"Are you free tomorrow?" 

Dejun hummed. He wasn't even sure why he tried to appear nonchalant. "Probably, but I have to help my grandfather out with groceries after work." Guanheng looked dejected, and Dejun suddenly felt bad. 

_ Why is he pouting? _

"I was thinking of grabbing dinner together then we can go to the carnival that you mentioned."

Oh, right. Dejun totally forgot about that. He promised to treat Guanheng some cotton candy and shaved ice.

"What about tonight?" Dejun suggested. The carnival will be here for a week anyway. If they couldn't make it tonight, they could always opt for some other days.

"Tonight is good! I'll wait for you after work?"

Dejun agreed. He didn't think he'd be seeing Guanheng so soon again, but he was glad that they bumped into each other. Maybe Guanheng was starting to grow on him—how cute.

Dejun didn't allow the feelings to manifest for now—everything felt too weird for him; probably too new, but still so foreign. He couldn’t stop thinking about it even when he’s buried underneath piles of romantic books later that day. Kun probably noticed him reading Me Before You during work—it still made him cry, but at least Kun didn’t point it out even if he saw it.

Soon, he was finishing up work and Kun allowed him to go as he waited for Lin to come back from school.

“You should take Lin to the carnival.” Dejun smiled. “Or we could all go together sometime! Like last year. She really likes the teddy bear that you won for her.”

“Yeah.” Kun grinned. He caught someone standing outside the closed library. The person was absentmindedly playing with his phone—definitely an unfamiliar face because he’d met all of Dejun’s friends. “Is that your friend?”

Dejun looked over. “Oh, yeah. That’s Guanheng. He’s still new here. I met him at the hill and we’re going to the carnival tonight.” Guanheng gave him a small smile through the sliding door. Dejun waved back. “See you around, ge!”

Kun just smiled. The slight breeze from the hot summer afternoon felt refreshing on his face when Dejun opened the door.

Guanheng was dressed casually, in just a black sweatshirt with short shorts that fell right above his knees. Dejun felt a little tired from work, but seeing Guanheng’s smile somehow lifted up his spirit again.

It took them about half an hour to reach the carnival. They talked so much along the way that Dejun was scared they might run out of topics, but Guanheng was witty—he kept the atmosphere light by cracking jokes and speaking about his experiences living in Macau. Normally, though, Dejun would be more fixated on the carnival and the booths and the food offered, but tonight was different. He felt drawn towards Guanheng, felt drawn towards his silky voice and endearing laughters.

Until Guanheng asked him if he wanted to get the shaved ice and Dejun curtly gave a nod. _ Well, that was embarrassing. _ He wanted to treat Guanheng but he made the move first.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever like carnivals again.” Guanheng said as he scooped the shaved ice with his spoon. Dejun frowned.  _ If Guanheng didn’t like it, why did he say yes? _ He felt guilt blooming in his chest. “We had one every year in my city, and I’d always go with my boyfriend...well, ex-boyfriend.”

They stopped walking. Guanheng had an unreadable expression even as he laughed, the sound bitter and Dejun badly wanted to make the visible pain on his face disappear. He felt his hand moving on its own, gripping Guanheng’s own trembling ones.

“Your ex is not here.” Dejun mumbled. “It’s just me.”

“I know.” Guanheng’s grip tightened. “ _ I know _ . That’s why I wanted to come. I should’ve told you about this. You must’ve felt bad. But I really like your company.”

Dejun smiled. “No, no, it’s fine! I should’ve known better.” An idea suddenly lit up in his mind. “Oh, I know something that will cheer you up. Come on!”

Guanheng let himself be dragged, struggling slightly to keep up with Dejun as he tried not to spill the shaved ice in his hand. They climbed up the stairs to an old shrine, careful not to misstep as it was dark and barely lit. Dejun still held Guanheng's hand tightly, motioning him to come closer when they finally reached the gate.

"Come here! You'll like it."

As soon as Guanheng stood next to Dejun, he let out a loud gasp at the view below; bright, orange lights illuminating a street of stalls and booths selling all sorts of food and drinks. There were people bustling around the area, creating a lively atmosphere at the break of dusk where the sun just sets and the sky is a beautiful hue of orange mixed with red.

Guanheng's eyes are brighter than ever, so much so Dejun had to stop and look deep into them, admiring his side profile and wishing that somehow, he could cradle his face close now. It's quiet up here, with nothing but silence and cricket sounds accompanying them, but Dejun could also hear the loud pumping in his chest.

He wished Guanheng couldn't hear it. 

"It's beautiful." Guanheng gasped, still very much in awe. His huge, radiant smile was back on his face. "I never thought it would look so beautiful up here."

Dejun remembered getting lost from his grandparents when they were at the carnival—he was still a child, and somehow ended up at the foot of this shrine. He remembered following a cat that night, his eyes bright and shining underneath the moonlight. He had soft white fur but there was no collar, so Dejun assumed it was just a stray cat. The staircase wasn't stretched far either, he kept following until he discovered a new world up here. 

There's something about hills that Dejun quite love. He wasn't sure why, but he truly enjoyed being on top and looking down at the scenery below. It made him feel free and liberated; giving him a sense of utopia, if he could call it. 

"It’s more peaceful here.” Dejun sighed as he closed his eyes. “I found this place when I got separated from my grandparents years ago. I was following a cat and ended up here. My grandparents found me an hour later.”

"A cat." Guanheng hummed. "I like cats."

Dejun smiled. He did too. Although he was more of a dog person, there was something about the cat's eyes that drew him in—as if calling him out for an adventure. But he never saw him again, not even when he'd climb up here when the carnival is over.

“I wish I brought my camera here.” Guanheng said again, looking wistfully at the scenery below. 

“I never took a picture of it.” Dejun sighed instead. “I think memories last longer that way. If you relish in the moment and live in it, you’ll appreciate it even more. And someday, you would come back; be it by yourself, or with anyone else.”

“You think we’d come back here? Together?”  _ To relive the same moment? _

“Why not?” Dejun smiled. “The carnival lasts for a month, anyway. We can always come back.”

Guanheng just smiled. Dejun’s heart still beat loudly in his chest, but he thought it wouldn’t hurt to scoot closer, to link their finger together as a silent promise.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The next couple weeks passed by like a breeze. They spent less time together, simply because Dejun still had work and Guanheng needed to run errands for his uncle. They still see each other for lunch, alongside Yangyang and Xuxi, a new friend Guanheng made from Dejun’s small circle of friends. They got along pretty well, hit it off immediately and became close friends. Xuxi would then show Guanheng around town, like the cafes they love to frequent and the hotpot places they’d go for late night supper.

Needless to say, Dejun was jealous of Xuxi—just a tiny bit, but he tried to suppress the emotions. He doesn't even know if it's really jealousy. And it's not fair to them, especially when Guanheng was still so eager to explore the small town. Maybe Dejun just missed him.  _ Maybe. _

Which is strange in itself, but okay.

“—Jun. Dejun, you’re still there?”

Dejun blinked a few times. Gosh, his thoughts were somewhere else. They had stopped walking and Guanheng was looking deep into his eyes. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, quiet. It's late now, and the only sounds accompanying them were the dogs barking down the street and the occasional swerve from the car passing by. 

Guanheng looked so pretty underneath the moonlight. Dejun gave a small smile. "It's nothing. Sorry, I was thinking about work."

"Well you shouldn't be thinking so much! Let loose a little bit. It's just work." Guanheng shrugged his shoulders, started swaying his limbs and letting loose, then he sighed out loud, the sounds echoing in the quiet neighbourhood and Dejun couldn't help but giggle. "Come on! You try it too!" 

Dejun realised how ridiculous he may have looked, but with Guanheng everything seemed natural. He laughed when Guanheng laughed, more so when he kept doing silly dances in the middle of a park at midnight in an attempt to make Dejun smile.

And he did. He smiled a lot. Maybe popped a few bones for laughing and dancing too much but he hadn't felt this good in a long time.

"Thanks." Dejun grinned once they calmed down. Guanheng looked really good like this, hair messed up and eyes twinkling like the stars above.

"It's no problem." Guanheng smiled. "You should smile more. Your smile is beautiful." Dejun felt his heart pound loudly in his chest when Guanheng reached out a hand to tuck the single strand of hair behind his ear. They held baited breaths, looking deep into each others' eyes and Dejun swore he could see something akin to affection and sadness in them.

It wasn't until Guanheng nervously laughed and pulled his hand away that Dejun realised the small flower tucked behind his ear.

"For you." He said. "Looks really nice on you." Dejun felt his face heating up, heart hammering loudly in his chest and threatening to jump out. He couldn't see the flower now, but he's assuming it's a stray flower Guanheng plucked from the park when they were dancing just now. 

Guanheng laughed nervously again. "It's uh, a makeshift of what I wanted to give. I didn't know if you like flowers though. I'll get more beautiful ones for you next time."

"No. No, it's fine." Dejun's mouth finally moved. "I love it. You really don't have to get me anything."

Guanheng gave a small smile. Dejun couldn't help the smile creeping up on his face too. Guanheng was just so…sweet. Everything felt unreal and for the longest time, Dejun felt loved and accepted. He had a fairly normal upbringing but has never received profound love even from his family members. 

Yet somehow, these feelings felt familiar yet foreign. He wasn't sure why. 

"I have always wanted to do that."

Dejun looked up. "Do what?" 

"That." Guanheng pointed to the small flower still tucked nicely behind Dejun’s ear. "But I wanted to do it with a daffodil."

"Why daffodil?" 

"Daffodil symbolises rebirth and a new beginning. It kinda reminds me of us, somehow."

Dejun just smiled. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Is it weird to give out daffodils for someone you just met?" 

Ten didn't seem too bothered as he scribbled something on a piece of paper, probably a recipe for magic potion—Dejun never knew what weird shit he actually did in the florist. It's probably all imagination though; maybe Dejun read too many witchcraft books growing up he suddenly feared his senior to be one.

And in his defense, it isn’t as though Dejun just knew Guanheng yesterday. It’s been a few weeks—he really should stop seeing him as a stranger when they’ve moved past that. 

"Not really. It symbolises new beginnings and is often associated with spring. You could also give it to someone who just struggled with a rough patch in life." Then Ten shrugged. "Or it could hold no meaning at all. Not everybody knew the flower language anyway."

"What about rebirth, then? Daffodil also means rebirth, right?" 

"Ah." Ten finally looked up. "It does. Though it's more as a metaphor for a new life—to start afresh. Open up a new chapter in life and grow out of your past mistakes. That's more like it."

Dejun stared at the daffodils sitting at one corner of the flower shop. They didn't have as many colors compared to the roses next to them, but Dejun loved the vibrant yellow petals; some are white and pristine so it reminded him of innocence too.

"Although," He turned to look at Ten again. "A single daffodil could also mean bad luck."

"Bad luck?"

Ten nodded. "That's why people never buy a single daffodil. But it's just a legend."

_ Huh. That's just ridiculous...  _

"Why are you asking about this anyway?" Ten said after a moment of silence. "Is this for your writing?"

Dejun shook his head immediately. "No, not really. I'm asking for a…friend."

"A friend that just moved in here? Then daffodils are a great pick! Though I think roses would be better because it's easier to take care but—"

Dejun wasn't listening. He was looking out the door and spotted the exact same cat from years ago. From the days when he was young and lost in the carnival—and the cat didn't change at all. His eyes were still as big as ever, sparkling and gleaming even in broad daylight.

"—Dejun? Dejun!" Ten called him out when he bolted to the door, pushing past the heavy glass and looking around. He nearly knocked into Guanheng who was waiting by the side, falling face first in his chest while Guanheng clutched his shoulders trying to calm him down.

"Dejun? What's wrong? What happened?" 

"Guanheng—Guanheng?" Dejun frowned upon seeing his face. "Why are you here? I didn't see—Where did you come from? I saw the cat from that night but now it's gone—"

Guanheng held him still, still frowning. "What cat? There’s no cat here, Dejun. What do you mean?”

Dejun’s mind reeled in confusion. Memories of the cat from years ago still fresh in his mind, especially recently, when Guanheng—

_ Guanheng? _

_ Did Dejun even know who exactly is Guanheng? _

“Dejun, don’t just run away when I speak!” Ten stepped out into the porch with a bouquet of fresh roses. He raised an eyebrow at Guanheng. “Oh? You’re here. Help me to deliver these to the usual place, will you?” Ten thrusted the bouquet in Guanheng’s hands, who stood next to Dejun silently. Dejun frowned when Ten called him inside again.

“Come on. I thought you were asking about the daffodil?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m going with Guanheng.”

Guanheng didn’t fight when Dejun turned to pull him as they walked away. He could feel Ten’s eyes piercing the back of his skull but he had more important matters in his hands. Literally.

Once he was certain that Ten’s florist was no longer in sight, Dejun let Guanheng’s hand go. “How did Ten know you?”

“Xuxi introduced him to me.”

Dejun raised an eyebrow as he pointed to the roses in his arms. “Why is he asking you to run errands then?”

“He ran out of employees, so he just asked me for simple tasks. It’s not like working, I just come by everyday to deliver these flowers.” Guanheng explained. 

“What’s wrong, Dejun? You’re acting weird.”

“Where...exactly is ‘the usual place’?”

Silence stretched between them as Dejun kept staring. Guanheng’s eyes shone brightly even underneath the sun and he looked strangely familiar; it drove Dejun so fucking mad.

“Dejun—”

“ _ Guanheng, who are you? _ ”

Dejun’s heart dropped when Guanheng leaned closer and kissed him, taking him by surprise as he dropped the bouquet of flowers onto the pavement beneath.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Summer, a season of festive, delicious food and everything warm—at least in Dejun’s memories. He had always enjoyed the season as far as he could remember, going to the carnivals with his grandparents as early as he could walk, padding through bright lanterns and delicious food stalls with a big cotton candy in his hand. His grandmother would hold his small hand close in fear of him running away, but Dejun was a good kid who listened very well.

But things happened and crowds flooded into the carnival so they had to squeeze. Eventually though, little Xiao Dejun got lost in the crowds and somehow ended up at the end of an abandoned shrine staircase, staring wide-eyed at a fluffy cat in front of him. The cat had big, curious bright eyes that sparkled in the dark, and Dejun felt himself drawn to them.

“Are you lost?” Dejun quietly asked. He didn’t even realise that  _ he _ was the one who got lost and separated from his grandparents. The cat blinked, but of course did not reply. Instead, he started to jump up the staircase with nimble limbs, turning as if beckoning Dejun to come closer and  _ follow _ him.

And Dejun did. He climbed up the steps, following the cat closely with a curious heart. There's no collar or bells on the cat, so Dejun assumed it was a stray cat.

"Where are you taking me?" Dejun asked again, looking around the area. It was dark around, save for the moonlight dimly illuminating the staircase. And since the staircase was abandoned for years, Dejun nearly tripped a few times, brushing on his knees to rid the specks of dust and stones.

The staircase was short, though. It didn't take long for them to reach the front gate, probably left ajar for years already; the metal rusty and old. The grass surrounding the area was surprisingly attended so it wasn't hard for Dejun to walk around. 

He had never seen the shrine before. It was just a small one, made for the God of Death. A shiver ran up Dejun's spine at the revelation. There's probably a grave somewhere, but the cat was still moving and Dejun couldn't just sit still. 

He followed him closely, until they reached the ledge on top of the small hill. "What are you— Oh woah!" Dejun gasped, looking at the carnival below in awe and amazement. Bright red lights illuminating the streets when the sun just sets, casting a mesmerising scenery of the season—summer. People flooded the area, but it was seen peaceful up here, and Dejun liked that. He liked that a lot. 

The cat meowed and it broke Dejun out of his trance.

"It's so beautiful!" He said, but the cat meowed again so he frowned. "What do you mean?"

He looked over at the direction the cat was standing. The small grave was barely visible and the stone placed on it was nameless, save for a small carving of what looked like a number presumably the date of death. It looked like nobody paid attention for a long time too. 

Dejun frowned. "Is this your owner's grave?" 

The cat meowed again.

"Did your owner die here?" 

Another meow. 

Dejun just hummed. He briefly prayed for the owner's soul and silently hoped that they were resting in peace. The cat purred when Dejun pet him, before jumping off the ledge and running down the staircase. Dejun was taken by surprise. He immediately chased after him and stumbled on a rock, bruising his knee. It was just a slight wound, but as soon as he looked up, the cat was no longer in sight.

When Dejun finally reached the foothill, he saw his grandparents waiting with concerned looks on their faces. They're worried about Dejun for running off, and his grandfather was scolding him but he couldn't process a single thing said because he was too busy searching for the cat.

He never saw him again.

Not even when he came over the next day, or the day after, or the years after—it was as though the cat disappeared that night, and everything was just a dream.

Dejun couldn't help but wonder who the grave belonged to, and he paid his respect to it every year. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Dejun pushed Guanheng away from himself and touched his own lips. They're still warm from the kiss while his face was still red and in flame—not knowing from anger, embarrassment or fear. Guanheng had an unreadable expression on his face, something akin to hurt and sadness as he kept a safe distance.

"What is this…?" Dejun quietly asked. "What's going on? Why did you kiss me?" 

Guanheng didn't answer. Dejun felt tears brimming in his eyes. "Who the hell are you, Guanheng?! Do I even  _ know _ you?" 

"You do." Guanheng weakly mumbled. "We met that night. At the shrine when you were 10."

A shudder ran up his spine. _So the vision from just now…it wasn't just a memory resurfacing…_

"You're the cat from that night."

There's a solemn nod, but nothing more. 

"Who is the owner?" Dejun pressed, feeling his heartbeat quickened. "Ten is your owner? He's a witch?" 

Guanheng shook his head. "Ten is not my owner. The grave was also mine."

_ The grave was also…  _

Dejun took a step back. His entire figure shook uncontrollably as his pupils dilated in fear. 

"You're…You're dead. You're not real."

"I'm real, Dejun. I'm right here—"

"No!" Dejun cut him off when Guanheng approached him. "You're dead! I saw your grave, I visited it every year! You can't be real!"

"I was reincarnated, Dejun. I'm not…I'm not a _human_." 

"Then what are you?! And stop touching me!" Dejun was struggling to break free when Guanheng tried to hold his arm. His grip was relentless, but Dejun would never expect to see Guanheng in this state, tears streaming down his beautiful face and dripping onto their hands.

Dejun felt the tug in his chest, harder than ever when Guanheng held his hand close and kissed it. 

"I'm an Angel of Death." He said. "And I came for your life, Dejun."

Dejun felt his heart sink as he ran away, stepping on the fallen roses on the pavement and leaving Guanheng alone.

  
  
  
  
  


Dejun believed in God. 

He believed in life and death, heaven and hell, angels and demons—in everything supernatural. He believed that one day he too, would die. But like anybody else in this world, he would move on with life and continue living. 

In his journey to find the greatest utopia for himself, he found solace in reading and learning about romantic stories from the people around him, absorbing their experiences and seeing things through their perspectives. He would be in awe every time, and a small part of his heart would wish he could have it too. 

Death was just as fascinating as romanticity, but Dejun barely had enough knowledge about it, so when his grandmother died not long after that fateful night, Dejun had to take a step back and console himself from the pain.

The pain of losing someone dear to him was unbearable.

Just like right now, when he had learnt that the cat from years ago was Guanheng, an Angel of Death wanting to take his life—Dejun couldn't help but wonder if Guanheng was the one who took his grandmother's life.

He felt livid and sad; livid because Guanheng was lying to him all this time and sad because he trusted Guanheng.

No wonder the cat seemed too familiar. They had the same bright eyes that sparkled underneath the moonlight— _how could he miss that?_

Dejun wasn't sure what to do as he slumped against the pile of supernatural books, crying his heart out in the quiet library in hopes nobody would hear him.

But of course, he wasn't alone. Several visitors were staring at him and Kun just had to step in. He dragged Dejun out of the section and moved him to the employees resting area.

It wasn't even Dejun's shift yet, but he had nowhere else to go for answers so he just hugged the book close. 

"Dejun, why are you crying?" Kun sighed. "Everyone was staring. I don't mind if you want to cry about a book but please, keep it down—" 

"I'm going to die, Kun-ge." Dejun sobbed. "I'm going to die! I don't want to die yet! There's still so many things I want to do. I can't die yet!"

Kun was taken aback by his reactions. He sat next to Dejun and gently rubbed his back. "But we're all going to die, Dejun. We don't know when, but we definitely will. The least we could do is live our life to the fullest while we could." He paused. "You were the one who told me this when I lost my wife, remember?" 

Dejun quietly sobbed. It's true—he did. But the weight of said words didn't settle on Dejun, not as much as now at least.

"But what if…" Dejun started. "What if I  _ know _ that I die today? What if Death was already chasing me and wanting to take my life?"

"You can punch Death in the face."

Dejun frowned. "Kun-ge, you can't do that."

Kun handed him a piece of tissue when Dejun finally stopped crying, smiling at him. "Then you accept it with an open heart. Death isn't always a sad thing. That book you're holding," Kun pointed out, "Portrays a beautiful way of death."

Dejun looked at the book in his hand. Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. He rarely read supernatural or drama themed books unless love was involved, but he remembered how the protagonist ended up having to replace a friend's death in order for her to achieve peace from a recurring life.

"Just because you're dying, it doesn't mean that the world ended for you." Kun said. "It probably meant a new beginning in life. Even if you're dead by the next day, you could still live your life to the fullest and leave the world with no regrets."

_ Wait.  _

_ A new beginning in life?  _

_ But isn't a single daffodil means bad luck? So why did Guanheng say that?  _

Dejun immediately wiped his face and stood up. "Thanks, Kun-ge but I have to see someone now. Is it okay if I don't come for work today?"

Kun nodded. "Do you wanna tell me why you think you're dying?" 

"Maybe if I survive."

Dejun left the place with his heart hammering against his chest. He stopped by Ten's florist to get daffodils, making sure that they're a bouquet instead of only one.

"Ten, are you a witch?" Dejun figured that he's dying anyway, so what's the harm in asking the obvious question? 

But Ten just blinked. His eyes looked comically wide especially with the reading glasses. But the look was soon replaced with a Cheshire grin.  "Is this a trick question?"

"So you are a witch."

"Nah." Ten chided with a smirk. "I'm a human."

_ Right. _ Of course Ten would never tell him. He was about to step out when Ten called him out again. 

"Be careful." He said. "Daffodils should be cared for properly so they stay healthy."

_What an odd advice._ But Dejun just nodded as he held the bouquet close to his heart and dashed out to the streets.

It's been two days since he last saw Guanheng. Nothing had happened to him yet so he assumed that his death day was soon, if not nearer. Guanheng's tear-stricken face was still fresh in his memories, and Dejun wanted nothing but to wipe them away and properly ask Guanheng  _ why _ he was crying and  _ why _ he was kissing him. 

It still felt weird to properly address these incidents and put his heart out, but Dejun knew that he was right once he saw Guanheng at the top of the hill, sitting quietly in front of the shrine. 

"You came." Guanheng said with a strained voice. He forced a smile. "You even brought daffodils. How ironic. I wanted to give it to you first."

Dejun thought of the night at the carnival, when Guanheng was the one who offered to get them shaved ice even though Dejun was the one who suggested it. He felt a small tug in his chest. 

"You said you wanted to give me a daffodil." Dejun climbed up the narrow staircase then took a seat next to Guanheng. "But it means bad luck, right? So I'm giving you a bouquet."

Guanheng stared at the flowers, then back at Dejun. He still had an unreadable expression, but instead of sad, he looked rather tired.

Dejun was surprised when Guanheng politely pushed the bouquet away. 

"I'm not taking your life, Dejun." Guanheng gave a small smile. "You're not dying."

_ What?  _

_ I'm not dying?  _

Silence stretched between them until Dejun finally gathered the courage to ask. "Are you taking Yangyang's life? Or Xuxi?" 

Guanheng blurted out in laughter. "No! No. They're not dying too. Well not yet, at least. I was supposed to take your life that night."

"Why didn't you?" 

"I made a vow with God."

"A vow?" 

Guanheng nodded. "I exchanged your life…with mine."

Dejun frowned. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion but Guanheng just smiled. 

"Why?"

"It wasn't my first task to take someone's life, but for some reason I felt drawn to you, that's why I showed you the grave. I never showed it to anyone, and since I died alone a long time ago, nobody came to visit me at all. That's why the God of Death took me in and gave me this life." Guanheng explained. "I knew showing it to you would make things harder for me, but I later found out that we used to be together in another lifetime."

"We were together?"

Guanheng smiled wistfully, a sad look in his eyes. "I couldn't possibly take the life of someone I love." 

"But you were gone for years? You were gone for a decade, Guanheng! If I was supposed to die that night, why didn't you just do it?" 

Guanheng just smiled.

"I told you, I couldn't. And I've been on the lookout for years, you just didn't see me." He pointed to the shrine. "I was there the whole time. I was there when you visited. I was there when you brought those roses for my grave and prayed for me. I never left. 

But my time is running out and I have to go."

Dejun felt a sharp pang in his chest. His breath stuck in his throat and nothing came out of his mouth. 

"But you don't love me anymore, do you?" 

"I still do, Dejun." Dejun felt his heart breaking into pieces. His hands trembled when Guanheng held them with his own. "I still love you. I love you so,  _ so _ much, that's why I made the vow."

"You love me? But I've never loved anyone else."

Guanheng gave a small smile. "I know. I understand, Dejun—" 

"No, it's not that! I'm not rejecting you." He took a deep breath. Guanheng let his hands fall on his sides instead. "I like you. I really do. These two weeks were filled with so much fun and revelation for me and I've been the happiest in a long time. But I've never had a crush on someone. I really do like you, and I don't want you to die because of me…"

"It's not because of you, Dejun. It's a choice I made for  _ you _ . 

For  _ us _ ."

Dejun bit his own lip. He felt tears brimming in his eyes again. "I want to be with you, Guanheng. I want to stay with you forever."

Guanheng's smile was calm this time. He gently held Dejun's hand, rubbing circles on his palm and Dejun felt at ease even as the first tear started to drip down his face. He wanted to wipe it away, but Guanheng was faster, affectionately wiping his cheek and he couldn't help but cry even more. 

"I'm sorry." Dejun sobbed. "I don't want you to leave."

"I know. That's why I didn't plan to tell you. But you're smart and managed to figure it out so I had to tell you the truth. I owe you an explanation after all." Guanheng pulled him close for a hug.

The daffodils in Dejun's lap were crushed and soaked in his own tears as he let himself be held by Guanheng's strong arms. He never cried that much for a long time, and it didn't help that Guanheng was supposed to be his soulmate; spending the rest of eternity with him.  Dejun let himself be held, let himself fall limp in Guanheng's arms. Guanheng was whispering silent apologies, kissing affectionately all over his head and making sure to wipe the tears on Dejun's face when he finally stopped crying.

Nothing but silence filled the air as they stared at the carnival. The sky was already dark, but the bright red lights illuminated the streets as the crowds started to fill in. 

_ The scenery that was first introduced by Guanheng… _

Dejun listened to the constant lull of Guanheng's heartbeat. It felt so strange knowing that his grave was just centimetres away and Guanheng was dead. Everything felt so surreal, especially after knowing that Guanheng was his lover in another lifetime.

_ That they were meant to be together…  _

"When are you leaving?" Dejun quietly asked. It physically pained him to think about letting go of Guanheng's hand. 

"Tonight." Guanheng replied. "When the clock struck midnight, I'll be gone."

"So after that, you'll be gone, right? You wouldn't be here even as a cat?" 

Guanheng nodded. Dejun carefully sat up and stared deeply into his eyes. The time spent with Guanheng was short and brief, but it felt like he had known him for a long time. Maybe what Guanheng said was true.

They're just not meant to be together in this lifetime. 

"I'm sorry for suddenly kissing you the other day." Guanheng hung his head in apology. "I didn't know if you were comfortable with it. I didn't know how to tell you about it, so I figured transferring the memories was easier for you."

Well, Dejun was angry at his actions, but it wasn't like he'd never kissed anyone before. It did effectively let Dejun understand who Guanheng really was, though. 

His first kiss with Guanheng was rushed and full of surprise, betrayal and anguish. Dejun was confused and misunderstood. It was unfair for Guanheng to catch him off guard, and Dejun left him immediately out of anger.

"It's fine. It was necessary anyway, I'm not mad anymore." Dejun gave a small smile. Guanheng looked pleased. "It's just odd because I'm feeling all sorts of new things that I never felt before."

"It's fine. I know how you feel. I've watched you for a long time." Guanheng chuckled before taking the daffodils from him. They're crushed, but that didn't change their beauty at all. "Why daffodils?" 

"It symbolises a new beginning, right?" 

"Yeah." Guanheng breathed. "A new beginning for you." Then he took a single daffodil and handed it to Dejun. "And the bad news about me, for you."

Dejun saw the sadness in Guanheng's eyes—he looked tired, face bleary but was still radiating the same positivity from the first time they met. How long has it been since Guanheng led this life? How long has he been dead?

He stared at the daffodil in Guanheng's hand. It felt so surreal to want someone within a short period of time, but having to let go so soon.

He really wished they could have more time to know each other, but time was not on their side.

Dejun gingerly accepted the daffodil. He could still feel the tug in his chest, but he tried to will it away, savoring what little time they had left with a bittersweet smile. 

"Do you want to get shaved ice again? My treat this time."

Guanheng just smiled and agreed. 

They spent the whole night at the carnival, just goofing around and enjoying delicious food all around. Guanheng was exceptionally good at the shooting game and he won a huge teddy bear, but they exchanged it for a smaller one.

"You can have it." He said, and Dejun just accepted it. Guanheng would be gone soon anyway, there was no need for him to keep it. 

The last few weeks were spent with Dejun telling Guanheng all about himself and all about this town. Guanheng would listen attentively, fascinated at the scenery and even more mesmerised at everything Dejun does. Dejun felt the happiest when Guanheng was around, but now he's learning new things about Guanheng—like how he really loved goldfish and assured Dejun that it wasn't because of his feline nature, or how he could finish two boxes of banana milk at one time.

"You're really a cat, huh." Dejun snickered. "I would still say that even if you're not a cat in disguise."

Guanheng just shrugged. "I guess you're right."

The crowd started to disperse as the night went on. Guanheng and Dejun went to sit at the foothill again, watching as the people started to fill out and the dimming red lights from the carnival, signalling an end for the life of the night.

"So everything that you told me was a lie. About your uncle, and your ex-boyfriend…" Dejun took a deep breath. 

"Well, partially. I implied you as my ex." He laughed. Dejun could understand that. It's not his place to judge anyway. 

“Did you take my grandmother’s life to replace my own?”

Guanheng shook his head. “That wasn’t my doing. I’m so sorry for your loss, though. You came here that day but I couldn’t do anything for you.”

“It’s fine.” Dejun said as he held Guanheng’s hand and intertwined their fingers. He just realised how soft Guanheng’s hand felt against his own, and their fingers fit perfectly with one another.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of these. You wanted to unwind when you came back here, but now you’re with me, waiting for me to die.  _ Literally _ .”

Dejun scoffed. “I would still visit your grave even when you’re no longer around. I like it here.”

“You’re really nice, Dejun. I wish we could be together for a long time.” 

Yeah, Dejun would like that too. He partially wished Guanheng had reappeared a few years earlier, where they could at least know more about each other; maybe everything wouldn’t be so sudden and he wouldn’t have to bear with this much heartache.

Dejun didn’t even realise the lone tear trickling down his cheek until Guanheng leaned close and wiped it away for him. “Please don’t cry. It makes it harder for me to leave.” He let out a small laugh when Dejun did too. Guanheng had really beautiful eyes; Dejun would definitely miss them the most. 

“Can I kiss you again?” Guanheng quietly asked. “It's fine if you're not comfortable with it—”

"No, I want it too." Dejun firmly said. He did briefly think about it, but he was too scared to voice it out. He didn't want it to be sexual in any way—he truly loved Guanheng enough for him to want this. "I want to kiss you too. Again. For real this time."

"Okay." 

Guanheng leaned close and pressed his lips against Dejun's own plush ones, gently kissing him. A surge of emotion swirled in Dejun’s chest and he tried to hold his tears. 

Everything about Guanheng was warm; his hands cradling his face, his lips against his own, his tongue when he’s licking his mouth and savouring everything he could before it’s too late—Guanheng was just so full of warmth and radiance . This wasn’t just a kiss to Dejun, he truly felt like Guanheng snatched his heart, leaving him gasping and choking in his own tears even when Guanheng was pulling away and his hands were leaving his face. 

He had a smile on his lips, eyes bright and twinkling in mirth just like the first time Dejun saw him at the hill, or when he first saw the cat 10 years ago.

“I love you, Xiao Dejun. Thank you for everything.”

Guanheng was warm and full of radiance, but he was gone now.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s been 2 years since Dejun last saw Guanheng. 

Moving on was certainly not easy, but he had time to recover and he made sure to visit Guanheng’s grave whenever he could. He cleans the area up, and makes sure to pray for his soul. His grandfather questioned why he’s suddenly so eager to take care of the old and abandoned shrine, but he assured him that the shrine is an important place for his friend. He told the truth to his friends when they asked about Guanheng, leaving out the feelings and all but of course, they caught on. Yangyang and Xuxi are amazing friends though; even when they knew, they still respected his boundaries and accepted him as is.

He has also stopped wandering around looking for a perfect ending, or what he once called, a ‘utopia’. Stories of romanticity still appeal to him and he still cries while watching Titanic, but Dejun realises that not everything needs to revolve around it. He might as well just enjoy life and live for himself.

He’s certain that Guanheng would want that for him too.

Once Dejun finished his studies in the city, he spent more time in his hometown and helped Kun out at the library. He still writes sometimes, but it was mostly for himself and Kun is always so supportive of reading his works. Dejun still sees Ten whenever he’s getting flowers for Guanheng, but it isn’t until recently that he remembers to ask him about his relationship with Guanheng.

“Was Guanheng really just an errand boy?” Dejun asks as he self-picks the flowers in Ten’s flower shop. He prefers to do this now, knowing that it will hold special meaning even though Guanheng was basically dead. Oh well.

“Didn’t he tell you?” It's odd for Ten to not be doing anything. He’s just watching Dejun with the same, ambiguous smile. “He worked for me in exchange for a human body.”

Dejun is surprised. “I thought he was a shapeshifter?”

“Oh no, no! God isn’t so generous.” Ten replies. “His real form is a cat. I gave him a potion to shapeshift.”

Dejun gasps loudly and nearly drops the basket of flowers in his hand. “So you are a witch!”

“Hush!” Ten snaps and Dejun feels a shudder running up his spine. “I’ll skin you alive and eat you up if you ever say that again.” Ten laughed when Dejun didn't reply and looked as pale as a sheet. “I was joking. I won’t eat you, Dejun. You’re so skinny. What is there to eat?”

_ As if that’s better than anything. _ Dejun just rolls his eyes.

“Where is ‘the usual place’ anyway?”

“Ah, I have this loyal customer that collects flowers too. I don’t know what she’s doing with it, but it’s still a business for me, so.” Ten just shrugged. “You were worrying over the smallest thing, Dejun. Poor Guanheng, he really was doing his job.”

Ten isn’t about to make him feel guilty now when he’s almost done picking fresh flowers for Guanheng. He found out that Guanheng absolutely loved pink roses when they were at the carnival.

“He really likes you.” Ten says, but his smile was softer than the usual ones. “It was hard for him to approach you as a cat and he had more important tasks to do. But he was running out of time and he really wanted to get his feelings across. I was merely helping him.”

Dejun silently watches Ten wraps up the bouquet of flowers. He is never a huge fan of flowers but it seems like Guanheng loves them. Just thinking about it makes him sad—well, just slightly. Guanheng wouldn’t want him to be sad for as long as he lives.

“Gratitude and happiness.” Ten says as he hands the bouquet.

Dejun frowns. “Huh?”

“Pink roses. They symbolise gratitude, grace and happiness. I’m sure it’s a message from Guanheng to you too.”

Dejun’s smile is as wide as the ocean. He feels an immense amount of joy as he steps out of the store.

Ten was right.

He was grateful for Guanheng, and he was certain that Guanheng was grateful for him too.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

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